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| Annunciation at the Cathedral Basilica of the Immaculate Conception |
She is magnificent and holy, yes. But I believe there is more. I am about to tell you something about Mary that may open your heart to hers in a real, personal way.
We Catholics focus on Mary mainly as Jesus' mother. Some are far too focused on her perpetual virginity. Understandable, because that is quite counter-cultural to society today. But we can also consider her kinship to the single, and the alone.
Really.
Bear with me. It's going to take some time to get there!
First, let us look at the reason for the Immaculate Conception. Very many people are confused by this, and believe that the Immaculate Conception refers to the manner in which Jesus was conceived. It does not.
Rather, the Immaculate Conception is in reference to Mary being conceived and born into the world free from the stain of original sin. (Unlike the rest of us sad mortals) She is the only one, besides Jesus, to be completely free from sin.
Mary's soul was and is Immaculate. Spotless. Pure.
It had to be so in order for Jesus to be born of her womb. Her virginity (forgive me for saying so) was not what made her so special. Instead, it was that she was a vessel so pure that not even a little bit of evil could dwell there. Light and darkness cannot co-exist. What other vessel could be fit for God Made Flesh?
A little more background comes from Isaiah 7:14
When the Jewish people were promised a messiah they were told that the messiah would be born of a virgin. Over time, it became very important to society to ensure that there were enough virgins available to fulfill this prophecy. Families would then send their young daughters, as they approached adolescence, to the temple to be sure they would be protected, trained up, and preserve their virginity.
This was not as dire as it would seem in today's age. (Oh no, in today's American culture, lawmakers want to be sure that 11-year-old girls have access to the Morning After Pill even without consent from their parents because it is expected that every girl be available for sex. Oh how far we have come! Shudder at the thought.) To become the mother of the king, the messiah, would be an ultimate reward for the sacrifice - though it was surely not considered a great sacrifice in that day.
Swinging back on topic - it was not uncommon for girls to be consecrated to the temple for this purpose.
Let us remember that Mary was born to Anna and Joachim - who by that time were quite old. (Like Sarah and Abraham, they spent much of their life without children and certainly didn't expect children at such an impossible age.)
Therefore, Mary had no siblings, and her parents knew it was best to dedicate her to the temple where she would be raised after their death. It is likely that both of Mary's parents had died by the time she was about seven years old.
Then when she came of age, Mary was betrothed to Joseph, visited by the angel Gabriel, and agreed in her fiat, to become the Mother of God Made Flesh.
Joseph too, was an old man, likely over age thirty - possibly mid-30s by the time Jesus was born. He too, had intended to vow his virginity for the glory of God, so that helps explain the question of Mary's perpetual virginity in case that was bothering you. (It's an obstacle for many.) This arrangement allowed them to be servants to God and serve each other and the world in a remarkable way.
It is believed that Joseph died by about the time Jesus reached age twenty - that would put him in his mid-50s which is quite old for that time period - and would leave Mary widowed by her early 30s.
Then, upon Jesus' crucifixion, He spoke to His mother and His beloved friend John, "Son, behold your mother. Mother behold your son."
This was an instruction that John should care for Mary, as it was necessary in those days for a woman to belong to a family of some type, lest she become destitute and uncared for.
Now, let's look back at the timeline of Mary's life.
Orphaned in her youth.
Married at age 12 to 14.
Widowed by age 34.
Then her only begotten son was out, traipsing around, preaching and teaching his disciples - where was Mary? Who took care of her and who did she hang out with?
Her son crucified as she reached age 45 or 50.
Depending how long she lived - Mary was likely alone, without family, for much of her life.
Mary spent much of her life alone.
What does that mean to today's single adults?
For me, it is profound.
It's easy to think that someone so full of Grace, blessed with a devoted husband and let's face it - a perfect child - has nothing in common with me!
Of course knowing that she saw her son suffer a horrific, cruel and unspeakable death, we all have sympathy for her. We know her heart was deeply pierced, and that she can relate to and understand our puny little earthly sufferings.
But to think that she also understands what it is to be alone - that for me, personally, is a game-changer. Mary does understand the suffering of the single.
That is a comfort for me. I hope it may be comfort for you or someone you love. Because, I'll be honest, the whole, "Jesus was single." attempt at consolation is not much comfort at all!
